Friday, July 24, 2015

The Book of America (The one book of the Bible we keep quoting)




The Book of America

A Gospel of someone who is free!

Chapter 1

1 Remember brethren that the soil ye standeth on is sacred. Behold, thy LORD hath made The Americas his temple. People from all nations will go to his Holy Mountain of Rushmore and give praise to his prophets, Washington, Lincoln and Jefferson.

Remember these commands.

 Thou shalt not take away thy guns

Keep thy borders secure. No outsider shall enter your town and beg for necessities. If alien or foreigner is accommodated they may take American jobs.

Thou shalt not steal unless thou believeth that thou deserveth it (or it's a digital download because those aren't real)

Remembereth that I have put my sacred lambs on the right of politics and my rams on the left of politics

Use thy voice and thy keyboard to shout the misfortunes of the land. I will hear the loudest and answer you on the day of wrath

Watch over my laws and maketh sure that everyone follows them. I will not be poorly represented in American law.

Do not take my unbearable laws too seriously. That was a different time and thou should skippeth over that.

Enjoy the money of your youth. Let is spill out in the streets like a fountain.

A Free Thinker's Psalm of Jesus

Oh good teacher, oh wonderfully viable person of history
your ways were polite and nice, you did good things
You healed people within my understanding of science

You hung out with men
therefore I will draw the wildest conclusion

Tolerant of Tolerance

Cast away my enemies who quote Leviticus
Destroy my captors who read from Romans
Cast shame on those who read from Matthew
For they do not know you as I do

You who considerately healed others
You who spoke only about the poor
You who said, "haters gonna hate"
You who probably said that our bodies belong to us
but I cannot find it so I will just assume
I will give you my Like on Facebook

Betray those who make me feel bad
Destroy those who make me question

For you are worthy of following
when your ways are within the context of culture



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