Probable Upworthy Headlines We Will See in the Future

Upworthy  GroanWorthy

11. A Young boy gets extra mashed potatoes on his dinner plate only using one word.

10. This girl disproves every stereotype of knee cancer in America for the last 300 years

9. All white men suck and this 50 year old Belgian stockbroker discovered this while spelunking

8. This one fashion tip made this former Klu Klux Klan member quit his job and take up ballet

7. U2 sings a song that probably has a lot to do with problems in Africa

6. Sexist teacher fails college female based on her gender (and she failed every test)

5. This one African American newborn communicates a message of equality and brotherhood to the Georgia police force using only spittle and drool

4. One fact about this man keeps the American public constantly calling him a serial killer...he also killed some people.

3. She found a way to never be harassed by men.  It's hilarious and completely proves our double standard.

2. Russia just won a gold medal...in Hell...for being evil...and dark....with fire...and terror (are we being too subtle?)

1. Little girls story about unicorns in grade school may be the answer to America's trillion dollar debt.